Emma & john

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We both learned that marriage is a partnership that will always need work, arguments are not always a bad thing and we can indeed have good arguments. Suppose we always worried that any arguments were bad but the DVD helped us show a lot of people do! 

It highlighted the importance if the three main areas couples struggle, finance, power and communication. 

It showed us genuinely that we are working well on these parts. Financial situations and power are very equally shared out amount us. We are sensible "clever planners" so thankfully the money areas of our relationship. We really work well as a team and share power, in the last page of the workbook we picked 8 of the same!! 

 

However one area we both wanted to work on was communication. We find that it would be our weakness as a couple. But in the DVD something that hit home with us both was, one person can say something and the other person hears something else! Also both john and myself work long and stressful jobs and sometimes can snap easily when we get home! We never identified before that that can be a result of the day in work we had!! Which was comforting, and we have promised to not start an argument with shouting... Quite first, something I need to adopt!

Also we identified both our parents’ weaknesses to be communication with each other so essentially like you said we can pick partners with similar subconscious. Our families though overall we have a great long relationships so we should follow. 

Affection was another area we wanted to work on, I could relate to the girl in the DVD. John has a tendency to bottle up his feelings and I would automatically assume it's me! But again it was great just to hear that this is normal, again we laughed and promised to be more open and not just keep it in. Also the points you made about after 3 years our hormones of "love" fad... We definitely felt that, but our friendship, respect and love has allowed us to overcome the missing lust!! 

Family and starting a family is important to us, we do understand that both parents making time for the child / children playing emotionally and physically, we both understand it will be hard and time consuming and tiredness will be a massive lifestyle change! We don't have children but when you mentioned about us teaching a child to act, rewarding both good behaviour not just always pointing out the bad! Just some good tips to take! 

Finally I loved the idea Niamh had to check in with each on the day! It is our wedding day so we should make sure to enjoy it! 

We really have the patience, determination to make our relationship and marriage be long and happy! 

Overall we found it really interesting, it made us talk and spend some real time listening to each other.... And will be introducing the 1 minute gaze into each other's eyes more often! 

Thanks 

Emma & john