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Can people change?

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If you look back at your life, does the person you are seem pretty much the same — older, and maybe a little wiser — or do you see significant change over the years?

It is a truism — at least in Western cultures — that people don’t change, or at least not that much. It’s quite a depressing idea. It tells us that if you have a grumpy disposition, you’re likely to stay that way.

Many people believe that personalities are a fixed set of unchanging traits. Think of the expression: “a leopard doesn’t change his spots.” This is meant to warn us that someone who treated us badly is likely to do so again. But here’s the question — what if you’re the person who needs to change?

Body Language Arguments

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IS YOUR BODY LANGUAGE MAKING YOUR ARGUMENTS WORSE?

Body language is an important part of how we communicate. Here we look at how body language can flame conflict. Look out for our next article where we’ll explain how body language can be used to diffuse an argument.

Every couple argues. Ding, ding, ding! That’s an astounding revelation! Of course you know that. Even Mr Wonderful and Ms Right are going to experience a difference of opinion every now and again. That’s no big deal. In fact, it is healthy. The only way a couple would never argue is if one person is a complete pushover or is too afraid to state how he or she feels. That person may look calm on the surface but chances are they are a seething mass of resentment underneath — and that’s not a recipe for a happy life.

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Body language Reconciliation

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USING BODY LANGUAGE TO DIFFUSE AN ARGUMENT

Your body language can make an argument easier or harder to resolve. If you missed it, check out our article on body language can make arguments worse.

It ain’t what you say it’s the way that you say it! Although choosing your words carefully is always a good idea — especially if you are arguing with your partner — experts believe that in face-to-face interactions between 50 and 80 percent of communication is non-verbal. Yup! Strangely enough the words that we use may be the least important part of any message; it’s our intonation and our body language that really tells others what we think and feel. For the most part these signals are processed subconsciously — we’re rarely aware that we’re reacting to each other’s body language and, unless we’re making a special effort, we don’t know what signals our body is sending out.

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